The Kitchen Curse
by BloodyAlexy
Summary: Kowalski is facing against the risk of being expelled, and apparently Skipper has a curse on him. Even I don't know which one is the main plot, probably neither of them. Just something random with Skipper and Kowalski, I can't even guarantee how funny it is. Maybe my most amateur work with in-characterness. Blame the corn I've had, it had the most awful taste. No slash.


Kowalski moved in his chair nervously. He had screwed up. Again. He sighed; he wasn't sure what he was going to get in that room. Well, he wasn't getting a medal, that was for sure.

The metal door opened and a female penguin got out. "Kowalski, she's waiting for you."

"Thanks, Artemia." He replied coldly as he stood up.

"Kowalski, I-"

"I don't care. Now can you move for me to pass, please?"

Artemia opened the door wider, allowing him to get inside. Kowalski was glad she had understood that it was useless to try apologizing him, because he wasn't going to accept it. Since Skipper cared about her no longer, he had no reason to anyways.

He was doomed. He was apparently going to get expelled. All he had been working since he was a chick was science and martial arts. There was no way a penguin could use those skills unless he was working in a lab or the army, and if he gets expelled, both chances would be gone, while he was on his way to Antarctica. He had no idea what the cold desert even looked like; he was transferred to Alaska a few weeks after he was born. Besides, Kowalski knew that he had to find a mate, prepare a nest and make a family in Antarctica, and he wasn't into that ceremony yet. Even the thought of being away from laboratories was enough to make his stomach twist; he wasn't interested in competing with other males for good fish at all.

"Kowalski, from Kaminski territory, right?" An old female penguin asked. The head-mistress. The look in her ice-blue eyes could even make him shiver.

Kowalski gulped before he replied. "Yes, ma'am."

"Mr. Kowalski, it's the seventh time you harmed the school building this year. I know you are a brilliant student, but I'm getting impatient with dangerous mistakes of yours."

He frowned. Seven? Two of them weren't even his fault! Some troublesome guy had messed his chemistry experiments and created a big explosion, what was his name, Rico? Freako? Psycho?

"There are two months until you graduate. Two months. If you can manage not to cause any problems until then, you will be a part of a private squad as expected. But if you won't, I'm afraid you will have to go back to Mother Land, understood?"

"Yes ma'am." Kowalski repeated, indescribably happy that he wasn't getting expelled.

"And remember, I am giving you one last chance, just because I don't want to risk losing such a bright will-to-be soldier like you. Please try not to mess it up."

"Yes ma'am, I can guarantee that." Kowalski saluted, waiting her permission to go out.

"You can leave now." The expected permission came before Kowalski closed the metal door behind him and rushed to the dorm he called home.

(…)

"Skipper, guess what-? Uh, Skipper?" Kowalski smelled the air, sensing a smell of burning. "Skipper!"

"I'm… here…" He heard his roommate cough between his words. "Everything's fine!"

Kowalski ran towards the kitchen, and panicked expression on his face was replaced with an incredulous one in a second. "Skipper…" he groaned wearily.

His junior frowned. "Well, you're welcome for trying to cheer you up, science maniac."

"Oh Skipper, I am so delightful that you almost burned the dorm away. Why haven't you tried that before? Because there is nothing enjoying me more than curtains turning into ashes."

"Ha-ha. So funny." Skipper growled. "I tried to fry a fish, but I…" Skipper's voice was getting so low that Kowalski couldn't understand what he mumbled in the end of the sentence.

"Say what again?"

"I said I forgot to put the oil, okay?" Skipper shouted angrily.

Kowalski blinked twice or thrice, and then he burst in laughter. "Wha- I mean- How-" He couldn't stop laughing, but he finally managed to decrease them enough to let himself talk. "What are you planning to fry the fish in then?"

"Well, the dorm got under an attack from evil space badgers, and I didn't have time to put the oil."

Kowalski raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I just forgot it, satisfied enough?"

"Didn't you smell the burn?" Kowalski let out a chuckle, how someone could be _this_ clumsy in kitchen, he couldn't understand.

"I thought it was coming from the outside."

"The smoke?"

"Outside."

Skipper's face was so plain that Kowalski started laughing again. He gained a punch in his left flipper for that, but he couldn't help it, Skipper had one of the best rankings when it came to senses, but it all disappeared when he entered in kitchen. Kowalski found it amusing, he wanted to make some experiments on his buddy's brain; but Skipper had clearly rejected it over eleven times.

"Hey, you're not really Count Perfect, Mr. I-blow-everything-I-invented-up." Skipper crossed his flippers. "Besides, I am good at preparing drinks rather than cooking."

"Then why don't you prepare something while I handle the fish?" Kowalski offered.

"What about some tea?"

"With anchovy."

"You've just read my mind, matey." Skipper grinned at him.

While they were having their herring, which was sent by Skipper's father, the junior finally asked. "I guess you survived the head-mistress' black room of torment since you are in such a good mood."

Kowalski nodded as he swallowed another piece of herring. "Your girlfriend has failed getting rid of me."

"Ex-girlfriend." Skipper corrected. "And I don't wanna sound like defending her, but I don't think Artemia meant any harm."

Kowalski took one more fish to his plate. "Probable. But that doesn't change the fact that she could at least tell something… less inculpatory."

"Can't argue 'bout that, can I? I'm interested in how vulture-face let you go more, though. It's like… the fifth time, isn't it?"

"Seventh. Apparently that psychopath from 11th grade wasn't to blame about those lab incidents."

"You mean Rico?"

"Whoever he is. And I assume the 'vulture-face' is our head-mistress, am I correct?" Kowalski raised an eyebrow.

"Admit it; her face is so creepy that even I'm getting chills to my spine everytime she looks at me."

"…Whatever." Kowalski continued after eating the anchovy that was left from the tea. "She clarified that I don't stand a chance if I 'mess it up' again."

"There are only two months left. I don't think it should be that hard, even for a crazy Franpenguinstein like you. Just don't invent something until you graduate."

"What?" Kowalski was almost getting to be the first penguin ever to get choked by some herring. "Two months away from my babies? Improbably impossible."

"'Walski, you will never see your 'babies' again if you won't survive upcoming two months."

"But-"

"No buts, Kowalski, I can visit you anywhere you are but not Antarctica. And if you get expelled, it would be impossible for us to gather a team together."

Kowalski looked on the floor, trying to get rid of new projects popping in his mind every single second.

"Two months. I can get you get distracted."

"Fine. And Skipper…"

"Yes?"

"Are you sure your father wasn't planning to poison me with such terrible herrings?"

Skipper laughed. "It's my father we're talking about. Of course I am not sure!"

(…)

"High temperature, a green face, an obvious lassitude, apparently we're against a flu case, Skipper."

Skipper frowned as he rubbed under his beak. "Can you find a cure?"

"Yes, but the most common treatments for the victim are hot soup, wet towel, and unlimited opportunity to rest."

"Who I am to go against Mother Nature? Kowalski, you start searching for an antidote. Rico, you handle the towel-" After seeing a wet towel on Rico's flippers, Skipper's sentence got cut. "Excellent, Rico. Young Private, you keep lying there while I prepare some fish soup for you."

Private coughed. "Thanks, Skipper."

As he was dealing with chemical formulas, Kowalski suddenly realized what Skipper had just said. He suddenly dropped his clipboard and pen as he rushed towards kitchen where his captain was about to enter. "Skipper, wai-"

The whole habitat quaked with a loud bang.

"Just how the hell have you managed to blow our kitchen up in the millisecond you entered?"

"I have no slightest idea, soldier." Skipper replied slowly, stunned by the amount of ashes between his feathers.


End file.
